Top Customer Experience Experts
Top Customer Experience Experts

295: Nate Regier – Unleashing the Potential in Each Person

Nate Regier Shares How to Use the Process Communication Model

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Nate Regier Show Notes Page

Nate Regier was trying to sell to a particular CEO who kept poking holes in everything he was saying. Nate was trying to backpedal and explain but things just kept getting worse and worse. Finally, the CEO pushes Nate to the point where Nate decides not to compromise any further because it would no longer make him feel any integrity in the work that he provides. After seemingly being kicked out from the office, Nate was surprised when the CEO called him and says he’s hired. The CEO appreciated his conviction to stand up for what he truly believed in. From that experience, Nate learned that if he wants to be a top leader, he needs to be able to go toe to toe with the worst and to have the backbone to never compromise with his beliefs.

Nate Regier was born in Newton, KS, though he was raised in Africa as the son of missionary parents. He spent his childhood in Zaire and attended high school in Botswana prior to attending college back in Kansas.

The youngest of three children, Nate, felt like an only child growing up as his siblings were away at boarding school. His mother and siblings have all returned to Newton, KS.

Growing up, Nate was always an entrepreneur—from running a bike repair shop out of his garage in middle school to making money stringing tennis rackets in high school, and ultimately to starting Next Element in 2008. He loves finding ways to solve people’s problems and being his own boss.

Nate discovered tennis in middle school, which probably saved his life. He went on to play on the Bostwana Junior national tennis team, competed in Jr Davis Cup tournaments, and achieved a world junior doubles ranking of 273. Having a competitive outlet was the key to helping his personality stay out of trouble.

Nate calls himself a recovering psychologist. His first professional career was as a clinical psychologist specializing in neuropsychological assessment and addictions treatment. As part of a large multi-specialty behavioral health system, Nate was able to explore consultation-liaison work, integrated behavior medicine, and team building on an adventure-ropes course. He fell in love with group facilitation, consulting, and training.

After 11 years in the clinical profession, he made the leap to starting his own consulting/training business with three other partners—and during the 2008 recession!

Since 2008, Next Element has re-invented itself four times to stay relevant and keep up with emerging trends in leadership. One thing has stayed consistent, though—their mission to bring more compassion to every workplace.

Nate is most proud of raising three daughters and growing into his own personality in a way that allowed him to uniquely connect with each of his children in a more intimate and meaningful way. Professionally, Nate is most proud of helping pioneer The Compassion Mindset, the first framework to operationalize, measure, teach, apply, and scale full compassion in any workplace.

He is the author of several books including, Seeing People Through: Unleash Your Leadership Potential with the Process Communication Model.

Nate lives in Newton, KS. He has been married for 27 years with three daughters ages 17, 21, 23. His oldest is getting married on August 8.

Tweetable Quotes and Mentions

Listen to @NextNate get over the hump on the @FastLeaderShowClick to Tweet

“We all have six different types of behavior within us. They’re called the thinker, the persister, the harmonizer, the imaginer, the rebel, and the promoter.” – Click to Tweet

“Diversity is a fact, inclusion is a choice and inclusion takes active effort.” – Click to Tweet

“Every personality type has its own perceptual filter. It’s how we experience the world, and it’s evident through our language.” – Click to Tweet

“Agility is our ability to take elegant care of ourselves so that we now have the flexibility to go access all these things that are already within us.” – Click to Tweet

“The customer experience is 100% what we have to realize. It’s not what they say or what we know is true, it’s how they are experiencing the interaction with us.” – Click to Tweet

“If we can listen to how the customers are talking to us, we can identify what matters to them.” – Click to Tweet

“What’s really important in relationships is that we respond to what we see, not to what we know.” – Click to Tweet

Hump to Get Over

Nate Regier was trying to sell to a particular CEO who kept poking holes in everything he was saying. Nate was trying to backpedal and explain but things just kept getting worse and worse. Finally, the CEO pushes Nate to the point where Nate decides not to compromise any further because it would no longer make him feel any integrity in the work that he provides. After seemingly being kicked out from the office, Nate was surprised when the CEO called him and says he’s hired. The CEO appreciated his conviction to stand up for what he truly believed in. From that experience, Nate learned that if he wants to be a top leader, he needs to be able to go toe to toe with the worst and to have the backbone to never compromise with his beliefs.

Advice for others

It is better to be effective than to be right.

Holding him back from being an even better leader

Delegating and asking more curious questions so my people can thrive.

Best Leadership Advice

Talk less, listen more.

Secret to Success

I truly value all six types in me, which means I can see the value of those types on other people.

Best tools in business or life

Listening to how people say things instead of what they say all the time.

Recommended Reading

Seeing People Through: Unleash Your Leadership Potential with the Process Communication Model

Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box

We’re All in This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging

Contacting Nate Regier

Nate’s website: https://seeingpeoplethrough.com/

Nate’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/NextNate

Nate’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nateregier/

Resources

 

Show Transcript

Click to access unedited transcript

Unedited Transcript

Jim Rembach (00:01):

Okay, fast leader Legion today. I’m excited because I have somebody on the show today, who I had a couple of years ago on the show, and we had such a great time and he’s come out with a book that I think is well worth us having some deeper discussion in, and we’ll get that into a second. First, let me introduce him to you. Nate Regier was born in Newton, Kansas, and though he spent, or though he was raised in Africa as a son of a missionary pair of missionary parents. He spent his childhood in Zaher and attended high school in Botswana, prior to attending college back in Kansas, the youngest of three children, Nate felt like an only child growing up as his siblings were away of boarding school. His mother and siblings have all returned to Newton, Kansas. Growing up, Nate was always an entrepreneur from running a bike repair shop out of his garage in middle school to making money stringing tennis rackets in high school, and ultimately his starting next element.

Jim Rembach (00:59):

In 2008, he loves finding ways to solve people’s problems and being his own boss. Nate discovered tennis in middle school, which probably saved his life. He went on to play on the Botswana junior national tennis team and complete and competed against the junior Davis cup Turner and junior Davis cup tournaments and achieved a world junior doubles ranking of two 73, having a competent competitive outlet. He was, it was the heat and helping his personality and staying out of trouble. Nate calls himself a recovering psychologist. His first professional career was as a clinical psychologist specializing in neuro psychology assessment and addiction treatments. As part of a large multispecialty behavioral health system. Nate was able to explore consultation, liaison work, integrated behavior medicine, and team building on an adventure ropes course. And he fell in love with group facilitation and consulting and training. After 11 years in the clinical profession, he made the leap to starting his own consulting and training business with three other partners during the 2008 recession, since 2008, next element has reinvented itself four times to stay relevant and keep up with emerging trends and leadership.

Jim Rembach (02:21):

One thing he stated that say consistent though, was their mission to being a more, uh, through there more, uh, okay. One thing has stayed consistent though. Their mission to bring more compassion to every workplace. Nate is most proud of raising three daughters and growing his own personality in a way that allowed him to uniquely connect with each of his children in a more intimate and meaningful way. Professionally Nate is most proud of helping pioneer the compassion mindset. The first framework to operationalize measure teach apply in scale full compassion in any workplace. He’s the author of several books, including seeing people through unleashing your leadership potential with the process communication model. Nate lives in Newton, Kansas, and he’s been married for 27 years with three daughters ages 1721 and 23. And his oldest is getting married soon, neighbor gear. Are you ready to help us get over them?

Nate Regier (03:18):

Damn, I am great to be here. And it’s wonderful to be on your show again.

Jim Rembach (03:23):

Well, you know, and I spent such a long time that when we first were on the show together, it was only audio. So now we have the beauty of sharing video with everybody as well, and hopefully reaching a wider audience because I’ve always respected your work. I have had the opportunity to stay connected with you and, uh, you know, get some insight into the work. Um, and this, and the more we’re getting ready to talk about today, I think is extremely powerful and it’s multifaceted. Uh, but, and we’re gonna even connect it back to the customer experience, which is most helpful for our audience. But before we get into that, if you could at least share with the audience from your perspective, what’s your current compassion is so that they can get to know you even better.

Nate Regier (04:03):

My current passion, Oh man. Well, you said my daughter’s getting married in eight days from today. So right now that is consuming my, uh, my mental energy, but it’s, it’s connected to this, this passion to connect with people and honor who people are right now with what’s going on in the world with diversity inclusion. COVID um, I am just so passionate about finding ways to see each person for who they are. And like, like my book says, unleash that potential in each person.

Jim Rembach (04:34):

Well, and you’re talking about unleashing that in, in the book, you talk about PC M and you explain PCM. And we said that at the process communication model, but, but if you can explain for vouchers and listeners, what is PCM?

Nate Regier (04:49):

Yeah. Well, the, one of the, one of the dilemmas with this book is did I want to make it about leadership or about PCM? And it is clearly a leadership book and the tool that, that, that is used to help people enhance their leadership is PCM. And the, and the PCM stands for process communicate and model. And it’s a behavioral model of communication that helps people identify different personality types around us and within us, and then how we adapt our communication and leadership style in order to reach different people, according to how they’re built.

Jim Rembach (05:24):

Well, and according to that and breaking those down and thinking about those, this is how you broke out the book. It was hypocrisy, it was hypocrisy, authenticity, honesty, influence, self-deception trust, agility, and self fullness. Now I reading those, I can kind of understand contextually while you’re writing about those. However, I have to start asking myself why in that order.

Nate Regier (05:51):

Yeah. Good question. And someone that was actually just asking me about that the other day, the, the order is really carefully designed to help the, the main character as we watch this person’s journey. And so that the reader can get on this journey of, of unleashing their own leadership potential and exploring all these things. But I start with apocryphally because I just want to name it right upfront is into models of individual differences and personality and stuff have really been abused over the years. And I don’t think most organizations really practice what they preach when they talk about things like diversity. So that leads straight to authenticity and honesty, which you’re like, okay, let’s get real here. What really does it mean to be authentic and honest and only then can we start talking about things like influence, but as soon as we do that, we have to be careful about how we deceive ourselves when we’re in the leadership, and then we can start building trust. And that’s when I break into words, people may be not have heard up. So heard of so much like agility and self fullness, I wait till the end to introduce those cause they really are built upon all the other chapter.

Jim Rembach (06:58):

Well, and you talked about journey and journey of the character and in the book. Yes, Kayla. So if you can introduce Kayla to us.

Nate Regier (07:05):

Well, Kayla, I hope is a relatable. Um, she’s a millennial she’s in her twenties. She’s had a couple jobs. She’s probably still a little bit idealistic and has big goals, big plans for what she wants to be, but she also has had a couple experiences of intergenerational conflict, uh, gender conflict discrimination. And so she’s, she’s been jaded already. A couple of times she’s experienced hypocrisy, but she, but she has this naive youthful energy and this great ability to be present with people. And so her journey is about coming into her own, discovering her own leadership potential while working in an organization that really has, um, embedded the concept of what it means to see people through instead of see-through people.

Jim Rembach (07:51):

Well, and in that you, so the story you talk about her starting her first day at work and had a meeting with the organization, which you call process Corp CEOs, or Sam bam starts explaining about PCM and then how they’ve implemented in their organization. And then she starts talking about, uh, the, the different, you know, conceptualizing personality and what she calls and introduces the six Kaler personality types. If you can explain what those are.

Nate Regier (08:20):

Yeah. Yeah. Well, dr. Tabby Kaylor was the psychologist who developed and discovered this model. And it’s the only model of individual differences that was developed based on the observation of actual behavior. It wasn’t some theory in someone’s head and then they created a assessment to measure it. This is actual behavior that exists in all of us and he identified six distinct types within each person. We all have all six to a different degree. They’re called the thinker, the persister, the harmonizer, the imaginer, the rebel, and the, and they’re all six within us, like a condominium, like a, a six star office building. And so Kayla starts to discover what that means to have all six in her. And what does it mean to reach and connect with those types in other people? And that’s what Sam helps her do

Jim Rembach (09:10):

Well, okay. So, but as you’re talking about that in those six different floors, I start thinking about commonalities and common traits and also w and I would like us

Nate Regier (09:20):

Get it into the NBA

Jim Rembach (09:23):

Of the assessments that are out there that do categorize people, whether it’s an animal type or a letter type or all of that, and how that is impacted and affected and, and how we can actually leverage that. Because I think there’s some stuff just stick relationships. But if you could, when you think about all of these different types, what is the most common one in our society?

Nate Regier (09:45):

That’s, that’s a great question. And demographic research has shown that the most common base type, and I want to indicate base type because we all have all six in us. So the question is the most developed type is the harmonizer 30% of the North American population. This is their most developed floor, and they have the qualities of being compassionate and sensitive and warm, very relationship focused, very much want to nurture people and build relationships. However, um, depending on where you go in an organization, leadership roles and things, we tend to see other types, maybe overrepresented, because maybe that seems to be a fit for that job, or maybe just cultural factors have made it. So the certain types are more likely to succeed in certain jobs. And I think it’s a really important

Jim Rembach (10:34):

As you talked about it a moment ago and in the conflict that exists, you know, in other words, we could possibly appreciate the diversity of all of this, all these behaviors and all of these types, all of this, we can possibly appreciate that,

Nate Regier (10:48):

But it’s the inclusion, that’s the heart. You can’t explain that. That is such a great distinction, Jim, so important. Um, um, a friend of mine who, who works, who represents diversity inclusion for a large company, she said, she said, diversity is a fact. Inclusion is a choice and inclusion takes active effort. And so from a personality perspective, what does inclusion mean? Well, what it means is that we have to recognize and appreciate all of the types in us before we can include those types in other people. And so most models of individual differences say there are types of people, Oh, you’re a high D urine. EMTJ, you’re a, you know, a blue whatever. You’re a Badger. And it’s like, no, nobody is a thing. We all have them in us. And so thinking about types in people means that everything that’s out there is also in here. And I think that’s the foundation for inclusion.

Jim Rembach (11:50):

Well, when I start thinking about that, I I’m, I’m, I’m, the complexity just can be overwhelming. It can. And so I’m like, okay, how can I get to the point where I can build my skills and abilities to be more mindful, uh, receptive, you know, interpretive so that I can, you know, get connect with other people

Nate Regier (12:11):

Faster. That’s the hard part. Absolutely. It’s the hard part. And it’s also where most other models and training fall down, because we can teach some conceptual model of individual difference. Oh, you have these characteristics here. This, my question is, so what now, what, who cares? I don’t think that individual personality doesn’t really matter, unless two or more people are trying to get something done, then it matters a lot. And the only reason it matters is because they’re trying to communicate with one another. And so what makes PCM so elegant and, and helpful is that it’s a behavioral model. So we teach people how to actually observe behavior and then adapt and adjust, diagnose, adapt, and adjust. So we can actually connect when we’re talking to each other.

Jim Rembach (12:58):

Well, you’re saying that though, I’m thinking about the different factors that can impact that. So in other words, I have a certain base floor that is a commonplace, but other factors may cause other things to come out.

Nate Regier (13:11):

Yeah. Stress, lack of sleep.

Jim Rembach (13:13):

I mean, it just goes on and on, right. So there’s always stressors. So how do I deal with that? Well, that’s,

Nate Regier (13:19):

It’s a great question. And a good model of behavior has to take that into account. It has to be able to anticipate and predict. So right now I have, I’m dealing with, I need oil changes in four of the cars in my family, and I’m trying to get my daughter’s car, um, all ready to go. Cause it’s going to be off my paid payroll. Once she gets married, she can take care of her own car. But anyways, so think of the analogy of a vehicle. You purchase a vehicle for a lot of reasons, but it comes with a certain specs. These are the performance specs of this car, zero to 60 in this time, this many cup holders, this much horsepower, whatever. So it has performance capabilities, but there’s also how you take care of it. So it needs fuel, it needs oil changes. It needs certain things to be able to function. So, and, and the, the more we stress and ask of this vehicle, the better we have to take care of it in order for it to rise and, and, and exhibit its performance capabilities. So, so PCM at the same time says, here’s how you’re built. Here’s how you function. And here’s how you’re going to miss fire under stress and distress. And here’s what it takes to keep you healthy. And it’s unique for every vehicle and for every person.

Jim Rembach (14:33):

Well then as I start thinking about that and putting in real world terms today, cause, um, I was on a zoom call with 12 other people and we were going over a particular topic, uh, that was just riddled and infused with inherent stress. Yeah.

Nate Regier (14:52):

Yeah.

Jim Rembach (14:52):

And so you have, you know, polarizing opinions and thoughts, everything fierce loyalty, and I’ll defend it to the death, uh, to other people that are like, you know, this is not okay that we’ve been doing this and this legacy needs to change. And then I’m trying to move them forward on something so that we can, uh, essentially come together and I’m accused of ruffling.

Nate Regier (15:16):

Yup. Yup. Well, and, uh, your, your ability and gift of, of this ruffling feathers also is one of the reasons why you’re so good at what you do, because you can, you can seize opportunity. You can, um, create energy and excitement. Um, I was once accused of throwing thought grenades into meetings. Um, so, so I don’t know where you come in. I got excited about, you’re saying where you coming with a question about that dynamic and the kind of how stress affects us that and how do you get through it yet? Yup. Okay. Well, here’s, here’s what PCM allows us to see as leaders and as people dealing with customers is that it’s called the process communication model because it focuses on process of how we say it, not the content of what we say. So we all know that verbal communication is only about 10% of what’s actually happening.

Nate Regier (16:12):

Non-verbals is the other 90 process communication model focuses on that? So yes, we have a hot topic that there’s 12 people talking about. That’s the content, but the real miscommunication comes from how we are all going about it. And it starts with what Kaler calls, perceptual filters, every personality type has its own perceptual filter. It’s how we experience the world. And it’s evident through our language and you described a whole bunch of different things people do and say that lets us know, Oh, if we know what to look for, we can say, that’s how they’re experiencing the content that we’re talking about. That’s what matters to them. And so therefore we know a lot of things about how to talk to them, how to motivate them, how to invite them out of distress, how to predict what they’re going to do when the going gets tough.

Jim Rembach (16:57):

Okay. So we talk about behaviors, you know, we’ve mentioned that word a lot, uh, you know, and even then they end you talk about self fullness, you know, and the self discovery component. I need to know what’s in me in order to be, to start detecting and understanding and others, but still it comes down to behavior modification, behavior attentive, being attentive to behavior. And you know, how do I go about doing that?

Nate Regier (17:21):

Yeah, self-awareness it starts with self awareness. And this book is intended to give tons of persists, specific, practical examples for leaders to be able to say, Oh, this is how I function. I recognize this. Um, and then behavioral modification, it’s not so much that we are modifying our behavior, but we’re getting healthy. And then we are living into our condominium, which allows us to speak these six languages of personality. And that’s what agility is, is our ability to take elegant care of ourselves so that we now have the flexibility to go access all these things that are already within us. Um, and yeah, they’re like muscles. We were born with these muscles, but we work on and we, we, we get them more flexible. We stretch, we work them out so that they can, uh, go to go to work for us when diversity comes.

Jim Rembach (18:10):

Okay. So for me, all of this has to roll into impacting the customer experience. What I’m concerned with. Um, my listeners aren’t concerned with, we think about, you know, what I refer to as, you know, human based leadership intricity so it’s inside the organization and outside, how does that get impacted by this?

Nate Regier (18:29):

This is where it really, the rubber meets the road because when customers see the customer experience is a hundred percent what we have to realize, it’s not what they say or what we know is true. It’s how they are experiencing the interaction with us, how they’re experiencing the product or the service that is critical. And so if we can listen to how they are talking to us, we can identify what matters to them. We can identify what about the experiences and important and what isn’t. And then we can respond in a way that gives them what they need at a process level and avoid all these power struggles. You know, if I, and I’ll give you a specific example, one of the most likely customer types to a complaint is persister persister is very value driven. They’re based on loyalty. They notice inconsistencies between word and deed.

Nate Regier (19:22):

And so they’re going to get fired up if something doesn’t align or if they feel like you’ve broken their trust or you’ve misled them or something is out of place. And they’re going to let you know that by saying things like, well, in my opinion, you should have, or quite frankly, I’m not sure you’re shooting straight with me. Well, that tells me, Oh, okay. Trust loyalty is critical. So if we go apologizing all over ourselves or trying to defend us, like, well, I have the records here that I did send you that email. It’s like, you’re just asking for trouble. You’re asking to lose a customer, but what if we respond to them and said, you know, your loyalty is very important for me. And we strive to be consistent between word indeed, what’s your opinion on how we can communicate in ways that really help you know, that we care about your experience? Oh, you’re listening to me. And all of a sudden it’s like they become an advocate and an ally with you to solve the problem. Um, so the customer, the person responding to the customer has to be very aware of what’s happening, not get hooked, not get triggered by the customer and be able to see the forest for the trees, adapt, speak the customer’s language so they can really get down to dealing with the real problem.

Jim Rembach (20:31):

My goodness, what you just shared right there, I think is a, is a, um, priceless or at least a million dollar investment. And, and what I mean by that is there’s technologies that are currently in place today in context centers called speech analytics. And when you start talking about the communications that are taking place in contact center environments, that finally do get to the voice interaction, they are the ones that are the most complex. They are the ones that have the most emotion intention, and being able to analyze those across the entire call population instead of just one or two here and there, uh, is becoming vital. Yep. And so when I start thinking about being able to capture and interpret and then therefore drive change and impact that experience so that it is multi multiplicative. I mean, you know, Hey, I retained a person now they’re going to go and help me find other customers. I mean, that’s priceless,

Nate Regier (21:27):

It’s priceless. And there are certain personality it’s you just, you, you can’t, it’s so hard to put a price on the customers that you lost and you didn’t know why or the customers that you retained and the value that they bring when they’re loyal, huge, huge, huge cost on both sides. And very often we don’t know why or else we think it’s about maybe, well, the price point, or we think it’s about this, but very often, it’s not at all about that.

Jim Rembach (21:54):

That’s a great point. So thank you for sharing that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, when I think about all of this, you know, the decades of other types of personality testing and assessments and the ones that just continue to come out and build upon the same types of models and emerging models and new models and updated models and all of those other things, um, it’s exhausting. And so being able to, like you say, put the rubber on the road and meet the road, I mean, critically important. So I appreciate your work, but there’s a whole lot of, um, you know, talking about the emotions, stress and things like that associated with that work. And we need to be focused and inspired. And one of the things we use on the show or quotes to help us do that, is there a quote or two that you liked that you can share?

Nate Regier (22:38):

Yeah. The one that comes to mind, this was shared by one of my good friends who teaches and trains PCM. And she said, what’s really important in relationships like this is that we respond to what we see, not to what we know and think about it this way. If we respond to what we know we’re vulnerable to our own stereotypes, our own history, our own values, our own assumptions. But if we respond to what we see using a really, really good behavioral model, then we actually responding to the person in front of us instead of our construction of what that would be. And very often people are trying to tell us things right in front of us that we can’t see. Um, and so I think that’s a really great quote, respond to what you see, not what you know

Jim Rembach (23:24):

Well, and even when that quote and thinking about it contextually within the entire book and the message and PCM and, and Kayla’s story and all of that, I start thinking about one element that you talk about in its comfort. And let me elaborate on this a little bit is for us as people in our just everyday life, we end up, you know, and spending and investing time with people who have that same and similar base floor as us it’s comfortable, right? Yes. However, that’s not us using our muscles in order to be able to connect with the other folks. So what we do to fix that,

Nate Regier (24:00):

Oh my goodness, Jim, I’ll give you an example. We were called into, uh, an EIT Noah, uh, accounting software development company. And they called us in because they wanted to boost innovation and creativity. And so we had the whole leadership team around, they had all done this profile, the PCM profile, every single one of these 36 people to a T where either persister base or thinker base thinkers, the logic analytical. So their personality ties perfectly fit the role of their job. And I asked them all who hired you and everyone pointed to the CEO. So he hired a clone of himself. And now they’re all wondering why they don’t have any creativity. And what I said is, well, it’s not going to come from this group. Oh, well, help us hire rebel personality types because they’re the creative ones I said, well, I can, but how long do you think they’re going to last around you?

Nate Regier (24:54):

Because you, you can’t benefit from their creativity. If you don’t know how to fill their tank, you know, it’s like saying, all we have is, is premium gas stations. And you want me to bring a diesel car into this town? It’s, it’s going to get on empty and be sitting by the side of the road in about a week. So, you know, it’s, I think this comfort level, we definitely communicate with people who are easy and comfortable. We trust people who are motivated like us and predictable, like us and speak our language. But boy, we have to get outside of our own favorite, two parts of our personality. If we’re really going to maximize the diversity around us, I’d love that

Jim Rembach (25:34):

Laughing. I had to put, I had to put you on mute cause yeah, we do start seeing clones of one another. And then, and then, and then we’re like, well, how come we’re not experiencing this and that? And we talking about that whole self fullness and self understanding and self awareness is, yeah, we don’t even see that those things have occurred. And the same happens when we start talking, like I said, with the whole customer experience and the interactions and, and it’s just a situation that the struggle just continues.

Nate Regier (25:59):

Okay, well it’s yeah, it is. I I’m, no, I’ll, I’ll stop. There’s just so many stories of where miscommunication breaks down customer relationships. And everybody has good intentions. Everybody is trying so hard, but they’re just not speaking the same language. So they, they think the other one is trying to hurt them

Jim Rembach (26:16):

Most definitely. And then you start throwing in the whole globalization thing and coming from different societies and all of that. I mean, and then you do a true language, you know, a connection issue. Yeah. Just magnifies it. Yeah.

Nate Regier (26:29):

Well, and by the way, PCM has been shown to be universal in every single culture that it’s been used in across the world and every single language. So it is beneath culture. It’s beneath language, it’s beneath gender. It, it exists as a human trait. So we have that in common globally.

Jim Rembach (26:46):

Well, that is the beauty, but the downside is like, even when I talk to some folks that are not native English speakers from North America, they don’t use words in the same context. Yeah. And so I may say something and I’ll, and thank goodness we have zoom in the visuals and I’ve kind of noticed that they like, you know, kind of lost. I’m like, uh, maybe I need to explain that differently. Right. Or did I explain that well enough, you know, and I have to always ask for affirmation so that they, they understand what I’m trying to convey. And I think that is an awareness that we all need to have. Yeah. As we go forward. And sometimes

Nate Regier (27:22):

There’s a misalignment between our words and our body language and they each send a different message and the person can’t figure out what we really mean. And PCM helps us align those. So that our message is crisp and clear.

Jim Rembach (27:33):

Yeah. Good point. Okay. So with that being said, talking about all these stories and all these situations, I’m sure you yourself have had instances where you’re like, Oh boy, I’m learning opportunity. And we call the getting over the hump. Is there one of those stories that you can share? Yeah,

Nate Regier (27:49):

Actually a, um, a really significant one in my life. Um, this was early on in our companies, um, as, as next element and I’m out doing sales calls all the time. And my, my strongest personality type is promoter, which likes to cut to the chase, get to the action. And I just want to sell in like five minutes. Um, and then my next, most developed is thinker, which is very logical. Always has to have reasons back things up, wants to defend everything, overthinks, everything. And I’m trying to sell to this CEO. And he just keeps poking holes in everything I’m saying, questioning me, questioning my integrity. And I just keep trying to backpedal and explain, and it’s just getting worse and worse and worse. And finally, he pushes me to the point where I say, you know what, no, I’m not going to compromise any further because if I do what you’re asking me to do, I can’t feel good and have any integrity about the work that we provide for you.

Nate Regier (28:44):

And he said, get out of my office, get out now. And I’m like, Oh my gosh, I don’t know what to do. So I walked out of the office, I got in my car, I’m starting to dial my phone to dial home to the office to say, Oh my gosh, I messed this up. He calls me. And he says, you’re hired. He says, I just needed to know that you had a backbone. And what I learned was he is persister was his personality strength. He wanted to know that I’m convicted and I believe in something and I just kept compromising. And so I got home and one of my part nurse who had a strong persister, he said, Hey, your problem is you don’t, you don’t stand for anything. And top leaders need to know that you can go toe to toe with their worst, you know, chromogens. So when they’re pushing you and, and trying to make you to get compromises, you’re missing it. Your personality is getting sucked in and you don’t realize you have to meet them where they’re at. So when I started doing that, my closing, my closing ability just went through the roof with, with sales. That

Jim Rembach (29:42):

Is counterintuitive. Yeah. Most definitely. Okay. So goodness, um, you know, you have so many things going on, written several books, daughter getting married, four cars need oil changes. I mean, all these things are happening. Uh, so I, you know, we gotta, we gotta stay focused. I know we’re going to have to set goals and I’m sure you have one are really important to you. Can you share one of them with us my most important

Nate Regier (30:07):

And go, and this relates to my passion and my most important goal is to show up to be self full, take elegant care of myself. So I can show up present agile and ready to be a resource for other people. Because if I can do that, they can be their best selves. And especially now with all the stuff going on in our lives, if I don’t show up with energy and have something to give, then I’m just sucking the life out of everybody that I deal with. And so that’s my goal every day is, is fill my tank show up, ready to be there for people.

Jim Rembach (30:42):

And the fast leader, Legion wishes you the very best. Alright, here we go. Fast leader Legion. It’s time for the hump day hoedown. Okay, Nate, the Humpday hold on is the part of our show where you give us good insights fast. So I’m going to ask you several questions and your job is to give us robust. Get rapid responses are going to help us move onward and upward faster. Nate regear. Are you ready to go down? All right, let’s do this. Alright. So what is holding you back from being an even better leader today?

Nate Regier (31:11):

Delegating and asking more curious questions so my people can start thrive.

Jim Rembach (31:17):

What is the best leadership advice you have ever received?

Nate Regier (31:22):

Talk less, listen more.

Jim Rembach (31:25):

And what do you see is one of your secrets that helps you build? And what is one of your secrets that you believe contributes to your success?

Nate Regier (31:36):

I truly value all six types in me, which means I can see the value of those types and other people.

Jim Rembach (31:43):

And what is one of your best tools that helps you lead in business or life?

Nate Regier (31:48):

Listening to how people say things instead of what they say all the time

Jim Rembach (31:54):

And what would be one book you could recommend to our Legion? It could be from any genre. Of course, we’re going to put a link to seen people through on your show notes page.

Nate Regier (32:04):

I’m going to say to leadership and self-deception by the Arbinger Institute. And right now, Mike Robbins, um, we are all in this together. It’s a fabulous book about teams in today’s world.

Jim Rembach (32:16):

Okay? Fast, the religion. You can find links to that. And other bonus information from today’s show by going to fast leader.net/nate-regier-2. Cause he’s been on the show before. Okay, Nate, this is my last Humpday. Hold on question. Imagine you’ve been given the opportunity to go back to the age of 25 and you can take the knowledge and skills that you have now back with you, but you can’t take it all. You can only choose one. So what skill or piece of knowledge would you take back with you and why?

Nate Regier (32:44):

Alright. I would tell my 25 year old self, it is better to be effective than to be, right. And the reason is, is because trying to be right or be justified, all it does is alienate people and put stress in relationships, trying to be effective forces you to really say, what does it take for me to connect with this person and for us to struggle together towards an amazing outcome, mate, I had fun with you today. Can you play the fast leader Legion, how they can connect with you? Yeah. Connect with me@seeingpeoplethrough.com. And from there you can go anywhere to connect with us Nate Regier, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. The past leader, Legion honors you. And thanks you for helping us get over the hump. You are welcome, Jim.

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